you know what , OHWELL .
life sucks , imma strong girl , just suck it all up <3
hahahah . you know what , i wanna stay away from guys and everybody else . except amirah though . i've had enough disappointments in life . i dont want anymore . really , i dont .
OHWELL .
i love Mohamad Aliff . can ? OHWELL . fuck this . bye ~
seriously , why dont guys EVER mean what they say ? if you dont love me , then dont say "iloveyou" to me lah . its really irritating , frustrating , and heartbreaking . ESPECIALLY when im already halfway in love with you . whywhywhy ??????? omg , of all th guys . why cant i stay single and NOT be in love with anyone for one damn year ? its so irritating !!! ugggh . im like banging all my anger on my blog ):
oh and guess what , ALIFF called me yesterday ): just to tell me that he want to beat up afad . and what hurts th most is th way he talked to me . like we're just normal friends . omg , fucking heartbreak sia . i shouldnt have picked up that call ): now i cant stop thinking about him . i thought im over him ): oh hell bells , i dont want to fall in love anymore can ? i dont wanna be in a relationship anymore can ? i just wanna be alone can ? this is stupid . im just that dumb . fuck kay bye
its been a reaaaaally long time since i update my blog . hahah , when was it ? when im in a relationship with yamin . TROLOLOL moments . its funny how things pass so fast , really really fast . its been only 3 months and ive fallen in love 3 times . im th type of girl who falls in love really easily . ive never been one who hides my feelings . and right now , im scared of relationships . what happened to those time when IM th heartbreaker ? when im th one who had control over th relationship so that i wont get heartbroken ? everythings changed . im no longer that girl who gets sick of guys easily . i want a longlasting relationship . for once , like Mashy and Mikey . damn , even though they always fight , theyre still together and its gonna be their one year anniversary soon ! i envy their relationship , i seriously do . everytime a guy breaks my heart , i'll promise to myself that i'll never let that happen again . but in th end , i make th same mistakes over and over again . and now , after breaking up with aliff , i have a feeling that even though im gonna try stay single till th end of this year , thats not gonna happen . why ? because im slowly falling for syahid . oh damnzxc .
i love syahid , but im scared to be in a relationship . now what ? ):
school's starting tomorrow and i think im th only one who looks forward to it . eventhough there's exams , THATS EVEN BETTER . hahaha , cos that means that i end really early , and i get to hang out with my friends ((: i seriously cant wait to meet yamin , amirah and rilham <3
tomorrow is MOB exam , and i really dont think i can make it . whatever i've been studying for th past few days cant seem to stay in my head . i completely forgot what i studied . cant remember a thing . AT ALL . so i can just say , im a dead bitch tomorrow cos IM SO GONNA FAIL MOB . ohh what th hell . as what Farhanah say , as long as i get A for my other 2 subjects , its so worth it . kay bye <3
sometimes you thought you're such a loyal friend , until you read your bestfriend's blog and realise that you arent .
i wanna apologise , but at th same time , am i really th one at fault ? maybe it was my fault , maybe hers or maybe yours . god , i dont know . im lost . since when did i get close to you ? like , seriously ? and were you always there ? no . i was th one who was always there for you , when you wanted to commit suicide or felt like shit . but i remember , th first time i ever felt so helpless and worthless , you werent there . where were you ? all you said was , "jieh , dont be sad ):" . then , you were gone . and when you were suicidal , i stayed up one whole damn night , trying to convince you not to kill yourself. and do you remember , at th start of this year , you promised me that you'd never be so emo anymore . so now , what is this ? hell , your profile picture on facebook shows you bing really emo . what th hell ? yes , i know its my fault for not hanging out with you anymore . my fault for always hanging out with her . but you wanna know why ? because its so much more fun hanging out with her . hell , i can talk about KHULUQ as much as i want . and at least she wants to do something . all you want to do is to slack :3 im sorry , i know im being a bitch by saying all this , but this is what ive been feeling . i dont want to lose you as a friend . but im asking you now , am i really your bestfriend , or are you just using me ? think about it .
maryamDINZLY<3
i deleted all my previous post . why ? i dont know , guess im sick of my fucked up past ?
its not that im ashamed of it , just that when i read back my blog , i didnt wanna be reminded of th stupid shits i did . hell , i aint proud of them . ever . i learnt that in life , you make mistakes and you may think that you have learn from it , but truth is ? you never did . cause when th opportunity strikes , you'll do it all over again . yeaaaah , thats what happened to me . i thought i've learnt my lesson , but actually i didnt . so now ? i just wanna so-called "start over" my life . my life is MI is like a chance for me to be me . not to be somebody else , just ME . i dont wanna be some so-called bitch , or a skaterchick or whatsoever . i just wanna be , stop following th crowd . and if my friends dont like that , damn them all to hell (:
I AINT BORN IN THIS WORLD TO PLEASE ANYONE .
yeah my new quote ^^
that , and "i come , i fuck things up , i leave" :D
im done trying to please everyone . so what if im loud ? so what if i aint pretty ?
from th day that bitch fucks my life , im living life for myself . not for anyone else .
cause dammint , i got into plenty of shits for some friends , and in return what did they do ? backstabbed me . yeah , but then again , i think its worth it .
ohyeah , PROMOS 1 are coming , i aint prepared at all . too caught up in all this drama and shits and i should probably go study now xD hahaha kay bye .
love y'all <3
maryamDINZLY(:
When there is no friend,
When life is on the dead end,
When world is not a paradise,
When your confidence dies,
Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
When things don't go right,
When there is no ray of light,
And its too hard to survive,
Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
When there is competition to face,
When you are lagging behind in the race,
When you've lost faith in God,
When you're betrayed by a fraud,
Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
When others don't respect you,
When you're not amongst the admirable few,
When for a question, you can't find a solution,
When all you're sure about, is confusion,
Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
When your destination is miles apart,
When you don't know where to start,
When all you see around is pain,
When your hardwork is in vain,
Tell yourself - Go on, THIS IS LIFE!
Even though all this happens
just have faith in self & face life with a smile,
Things will surely change one day
Because as said "THIS IS LIFE ... !
as we grow , we learn that even th one person that wasnt supposed to ever let you down will do so .
you will have your heart broken more than once and its harder every time .
you will fight with your bestfriend .
you will blame a new love for things an old one did .
you will cry because time is passing too fast , and eventually you'll lose th one you love .
so take lots of picture , laugh alot and love like you've never been hurt ♥
THIS IS FOR THE GIRLS WHO HAVE THE TENDENCY TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT LISTENING TO MUSIC THAT REMINDS THEM OF THEIR CURRENT SITUATION. WHO HIDE THEIR FEARS, HURT, PAIN AND TEARS UNDER THEIR SMILES AND LAUGHS ALL ON A DAILY BASIS. THE GIRLS WHO WEAR THEIR HEARTS ON THEIR SLEEVE. THE GIRLS WHO PRAY THINGS WILL WORKOUT JUST ONCE AND THEY’LL BE SATISFIED. THE GIRLS WHO SCREAM AND CRY INTO THEIR PILLOWS BECAUSE THE REST OF THE WORLD FAILS TO LISTEN. THE GIRLS WHO HAVE IT HARD BUT DON’T LET ANYONE KNOW THAT. THE GIRLS WHO MAY NEVER HAVE IT EASY. THE GIRLS WHO HAVE SO MANY SECRETS BUT WILL NEVER TELL A SOUL. THE GIRLS WHO HAVE REGRETS AND MISTAKES AS A DAILY MORAL. THE GIRLS WHO DON’T ALWAYS WIN, WHO MAY NEVER WIN. THE GIRLS WHO STAY UP ALL NIGHT THINKING ABOUT THAT ONE BOY WONDERING IF HE’LL EVER NOTICE HER. THE GIRLS WHO GET WHAT THEY GET AND DON’T THROW A FIT. THE GIRLS WHO TAKE LIFE AS IT COMES, HOPING IT’LL GET EASIER SOMEWHERE DOWN THE ROAD. THE GIRLS WHO LOVE WITH ALL THEIR HEARTS BUT ALWAYS GET BROKEN. THIS IS FOR THE REAL GIRLS. THIS IS FOR YOU.
the name's MARYAM DINZLY(:
SEVENteen this year.
have fun with me on 17th march
LOLLIPOP
if you gimme lollipop, i'll LOVE you till the end of time♥
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